


I Will Leave a Light On

by VerityGrahams



Series: The Houses Competition - Year Five - Lions [5]
Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling
Genre: Based on a Tom Walker Song, Based on a song, Character Death, Death Eaters, Drug Use, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/F, First War with Voldemort, Gen, I Will Leave a Light On, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Character Death, James Potter is a Good Friend, Marlene McKinnons Death, Mentioned Peter Pettigrew, POV Sirius Black, Recreational Drug Use, Sad Sirius Black, Sirius Black & James Potter Friendship, Song Lyrics, helping a friend in need
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-08
Updated: 2019-11-08
Packaged: 2021-01-25 12:49:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21356509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VerityGrahams/pseuds/VerityGrahams
Summary: 'YOU KNOW WHO STRIKES AGAIN: MCKINNON FAMILY WIPED OUT'
Relationships: Sirius Black & James Potter, Sirius Black & Remus Lupin, Sirius Black & Remus Lupin & Peter Pettigrew & James Potter & Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Marlene McKinnon
Series: The Houses Competition - Year Five - Lions [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1538866
Kudos: 11





	I Will Leave a Light On

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I do not own Harry Potter
> 
> Written for The Houses Competition
> 
> House: Lions
> 
> Class: Potions
> 
> Category: Standard
> 
> Prompt: [Emotion] Heartbroken
> 
> Word count: 2133

I Will Leave a Light On

'_Lately you've been searching for a darker place to hide, that's alright.'_

The apartment was cold and dark. The once clean white-washed walls were now stained, the paint peeling in places; there seemed to be no one who cared enough smarten it up. One wall was littered with clippings and string — a bizarre attempt an investigation that made little sense. The floor — which had been a lush cream carpet — was indistinguishable underneath the mess of clothes, potions vials, and old food. There were no lights on, no fire lit, but on an old beaten-down couch, lay what was left of a man — Sirius Black.

He wore a bathrobe and socks — grey, faded, and full of stains. His handsome features were covered with a rough, unkempt, and dirty beard. His long dark hair was knotted and overgrown, covering his face as he slept. Beside him on the coffee table were a few vials filled with an electric-blue liquid, a half-empty bottle of firewhiskey, and a newspaper. It was an old paper; the ink was faded where he had handled it too much, and it had the look of parchment that had been crumpled up and smoothed out many, _many _times. It was open to the front page — the only page that had been read — with the headline:

'**YOU KNOW WHO STRIKES AGAIN: MCKINNON FAMILY WIPED OUT'**

_The McKinnon family were tracked down and killed last night by Death Eaters, and it's believed that You-Know-Who himself also attended this latest massacre. The family had gone into hiding after the family's eldest daughter, Marlene, had been rumoured to have joined the Order of the Phoenix. Aurors had received intelligence that the family's demise was high up on the dark wizard's priorities. It is said that none but the organisation itself — run by one Albus Dumbledore — knew where they were hiding, and new rumours have spread of a spy within the ranks of those that have vowed to take down He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named and his dark regime. With many of our finest Aurors working with the Order, the mole could be from the Ministry or Albus' vigilante organisation._

_Aurors were on the scene in record time, along with emergency Healers from St Mungo's. Unfortunately, despite the best efforts of our policing department and our magical health professionals, none survived. There have been no leads on potential Death Eaters who may have carried out this attack; as usual, the only evidence left behind was the glowing Dark Mark in the sky. Reporters and Aurors alike only have rumour to go on. _

The picture underneath the article showed the man from the sofa, only he was smiling and laughing, wore fashionable robes, and was clean-shaven. He was a handsome man with striking grey eyes, and the woman at his side looked at him adoringly. She was Marlene McKinnon. Her piercing blue eyes were alight with laughter, and her smile was infectious. She had long blonde hair, a stark contrast to his as she leaned in, kissing the man who, according to the article, was the fiance she had left behind.

If the man had not hidden it, below the fold could be seen the burning house that had hidden the McKinnon family — the house in flames and the green serpent in the sky. The great snake was wrapped around and protruding from the mouth of a ghastly skull.

Around the room, more pictures of Marlene could be found; in all of them, she was accompanied by Sirius Black. They laughed in the pictures, they kissed, they cuddled, regardless of the setting. Some were taken at Hogwarts in which they could both be seen in their Gryffindor robes, and some had been taken afterwards with their friends, Lily, James, Remus, and Peter. There was only one picture where they looked sombre; it had been taken a week before. It was in the hands of the man on the sofa, dog-eared, depicting the Order of the Phoenix, the organisation he had gotten her involved in.

* * *

'_The second someone mentioned you were all alone, I could feel the trouble coursing through your veins. Now I know, it's got a hold.'_

'Sirius!' came a shout from the other side of the door, followed by a loud thumping on the door.

Sirius, who was still unconscious on the couch, didn't stir.

'Padfoot, please, it's Prongs and Moony!' came another muffled shout. 'Let us in. We just want to help; I know it's hard. SIRIUS!'

The banging grew louder and louder, and the front door shook in its frame.

'James, we need to break down the door,' said a softer voice, and things went very quiet until there was an even louder bang — like someone was ramming the door with their entire body.

The door shook again, but still, Sirius didn't stir. There was another loud crash as someone collided with the door once more. The next collision caused the door to splinter and finally cave into the apartment.

In the doorway stood two wizards. One was taller, with messy black hair and round glasses; he wore burnt orange robes and tall dragon-hide boots. The other, who was slightly shorter but wore an equally determined expression, had longer, scraggly brown hair and scars across his handsome face.

Both men rushed over. Remus took in the room, but James began shaking his unconscious friend.

'Remus,' he said, panicked, 'he's not waking up!'

Remus picked up the vials, held one to his nose, and sniffed, wincing. 'He's been using, James.' He passed over the vial as he took hold of his friend's wrist, feeling his pulse.

'Billywig venom?' James asked, pacing and panicked as he watched Remus check over their friend. 'Why would he do that?'

'He's okay, I think.' Remus finally looked up. 'I think he's just unconscious, but he needs help.'

'What do we do?' he asked without hesitation. 'This is Padfoot; we get him whatever he needs!'

'We need to get him out of here, and he's going to need a Healer,' Remus said. 'I think he's hooked, James.'

'He's fine! He—he's just got a broken heart.'

* * *

'_If you look into the distance, there's a house upon the hill, guiding like a lighthouse to a place where you'll be safe…'_

Sirius finally woke, and instantly turned to the side, expecting to see at least one vial of Billywig venom. That's when he found he was in a different place entirely. He lay in a comfy bed, thin sheets spread over him, keeping him cool. He was dressed in clean pyjamas — "James' pyjamas," he thought. The table held a tall glass of water, but nothing else. His faithful Billywig venom was nowhere to be seen. The wall across from him was empty – all his work to find out who turned Marlene and her family in, was gone.

'Fuck,' he whispered to himself, as his chest began to tighten.

It was happening again; the pain that he couldn't bear to register was crushing his chest. He grasped his chest and shut his eyes tight. Her face smiled in his mind's eye. Tears slipped out as he felt the pain of her absence once more. His chest began to constrict, and each breath was a battle to take.

'Padfoot, you're awake!' James ran into the room. 'It's okay, buddy, we've got you; you're gonna be just fine.'

'It hurts,' he cried, tears streaming down his face.

'They said the withdrawal should have cleared your system by the time you woke…' James began checking his pulse, then his temperature. 'Maybe I should bring Mary back in here?' he thought aloud.

'No. Marlene… it just hurts… so much.' He sobbed, collapsing in his friend's arms. 'I can't breathe, James. I need her back… I need her.'

'It's okay, I've got you; we're here. It'll get better, I promise,' James said.

He would promise the world to Padfoot, his best friend. Seeing him like this hurt more than James could say. Sirius was weak, withered beyond recognition, his face tear-stained; he was the picture of agony as he leaned against him, struggling for each breath.

'Please,' Sirius begged. 'I need it… If I am to avenge her, I need it. Please, Prongs, please help me.'

'Billywig venom won't help you,' James whispered. 'I'm sorry I can't do that.'

Sirius looked up; the pained expression became filled with rage as he pushed his friend away.

'James, I'm your best friend! You have to help me!' he said, seething with anger.

'Padfoot, I care too much. Seeing you like this, it breaks my heart—'

'Heartbreak! Really? You don't know anything about it!' he said, screaming at James as more tears fell. 'I _cannot_ function without it, without the venom. It hurts too much, my heart has been obliterated. If you were any kind of friend, you would grant me that small mercy; you have no idea how painful it is. Not withdrawal, that's easy, but when I close my eyes, I see her. In my dreams, I hear her screaming for _my_ help, but I never went to her! I don't need it because I'm addicted, I need it because just being hurts so much without her!'

James sat on the edge of the bed, watching his friend. 'Of course it does,' he said. 'She was everything to you, but numbing the pain, what would Marlene think about that? Maybe it's cruel of me or whatever, but I don't know the right thing to say. I do know you're stronger than this. You are Padfoot! You found out your friend was a werewolf, and what did you do? Hatch a plan to become Animagi, just to make it easier for him. You are from a family of Purebloods, and the pressure to join the Death Eaters when you left Hogwarts was unreal, but you were so strong that you walked away from it all! You didn't just sit on the sidelines, you put yourself in the firing line, and you fought against evil regardless of the danger you were in; that's strong! Marlene loved _that_ man. He would man-up, he would accept the pain, use it to fuel him. He would pour all his attention into taking down the evil that killed Marlene. Isn't that what she would want?'

Sirius just looked at James; whether he was listening or not, James didn't know. The look on his face was still so far away, so focused on the pain that wrecked his body. The pain that wasn't physical — not really. The heart, when broken so perfectly, hurts so much a person must feel it physically, too. It feels as though your heart can no longer beat, and your lungs can no longer take in air; it feels like the end.

'I can't stop you from leaving, Siri, but Lily and I have decided you're always welcome here. This will always be a safe place. I will leave the light on.'

* * *

'_If you've lost your way, I will leave a light on.'_

Sirius had left soon after. They tried to get back into the apartment that they knew he would be holed up in, but with the additional wards that Sirius put up, it became impossible.

The venom continued to numb the pain, and Sirius lived in a stupor of detached anaesthesia, and crazed investigation. The venom, he had to admit, dulled his mind. He had a list of those that could have been the mole within the Order, but he could go no further on his own. He collapsed, looking at the list of candidates he had created:

_Caradoc Dearborn - Missing, maybe with Lord V?_

_Benjy Fenwick - Was present when leaked information was given_

_Mundungus Fletcher - generally untrustworthy_

_Remus Lupin - Was there when all information was given_

_Sturgis Podmore - Very close with Dearborn_

<strike> _Peter Pettigrew - not capable, but was about for information _ </strike>

He peers at the list, shakes his head, scratching out the last name. What was he thinking? It was then that he heard a faint tap on the window. Sirius hobbled over and unlatched the window, letting in a delicate barn owl. She dropped a slip of parchment on the sill and sped out through the window once more. He had recognised Lily and James' owl and gingerly picked up the tiny slip of parchment.

'_If you've lost your way, come home. I will leave the light on._

_Prongs.'_

Sirius choked and felt the familiar tightness in his chest. It was a sign that the pain was resuming, and would usually cause him to take more venom. He closed his eyes, however, and for the first time, accepted the pain. He saw her face, her smile. He knew he had to fight for her, be brave for her.

His Marlene.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, please comment and Kudos


End file.
